The Untold Story

Todd Murray - Click here to contact me.

I'm not sure where to begin; it seems like any random place would serve as the start of this story.  But, I have to write it in a way that makes sense, so here goes.

My first experience with the band Mujedo was in late October, 1999.  I was at the Guitar Center in Edina, MN looking for a nice four-track recorder, for some home music projects.  Suddenly, I heard a commotion in the other room.  Three guys in black leather jackets were yelling, "Mujedo!" and smacking cymbals with various implements.  They weren't using drumsticks; instead, they were using tuning forks, garden sprinklers, ballpoint pens, and what appeared to be a ball peen hammer.  Needless to say, this caused a lot of commotion as the employees rushed over to subdue the ruffians.  As I got a good look at them (the Mujedo folks, not the Guitar Center employees), I noticed bullet holes in their jackets, as well as rather disturbed poetry written on the back.  (And here I thought Famewolf was the only one to write bad poetry.)  I was distracted enough that I couldn't figure out what I needed, so I left.

The trouble didn't stop there, though.  I went to the nearby Cub Foods to get my groceries, including my favorite energy drink.  While in the meat department, I heard a commotion as these same three guys rushed into the store.  They yelled, "Mujedo!  Mujedo commands you to buy lard!"  At that, they took all of the lard out of the packages and began dumping it all over the floor, then sliding on it like kids on a playground slide.  One of them pushed me into the lard, and I slipped and fell, breaking my bottle of Josta in the process.  I asked, "What the hell is the matter with you?"  The ringleader of the band replied, "We ask the questions!  You provide the answers!"  I tried to subdue him with a large Polish sausage, but they escaped from the store.  After a long talk with the store's security guard and the police, I left the store having paid $450 for the lard.

Needless to say, my curiosity was aroused.  When I saw a post on the mn.general newsgroup in early November from someone named "Mell0 0. Zik" saying, "First Avenue.  Tonight.  Mujedo commands you.", I figured I'd go down there and see what was going on.  (I was rather hesitant and thought about wearing body armor or something, even though First Avenue doesn't sell lard.)  The message on First Avenue's concert line didn't make sense; all it said was, "Hey Julie!  I got the monkey nerve!  Heeeheeheehee!"  I found out that Mujedo was the opening act for a band named Saucer.  (Strangely enough, there wasn't much of a line for the doors, despite the post in mn.general.)  The unearthly noises from the soundcheck actually started to make sense at that point.  As is usual for a First Avenue concert, a big movie screen blocked the view of the stage; however, what was unusual is that the group's logo was displayed in the upper right corner.

At 8:45 PM, 15 minutes before the opening act was to begin, someone slashed through the screen with a utility knife in one terrible, searing motion.  They then jumped up onto the stage and began to play.  What I heard could only qualify as music in that they were playing musical instruments, and noises were coming out.  While the roadies frantically cleaned up the debris left on stage, the band members slogged through their opening "song".  After this performance, the frontman came up and yelled, "MUJEDO!  We will tell you what to do!  I am Bucky ZX Beezle!  Jim will be destroyed!"  They announced their next song, "11 Unknown", and started banging on the drums and playing guitars in some kind of unearthly tribal rhythm.  Not content to play their own instruments, though, the "drummer" started banging on Saucer's drum kit.  This set off a car alarm attached to the drum kit (no doubt to protect the equipment from this kind of occurrence), which amused them to no end.  After about 30 minutes of this cacophony, they abruptly stopped, yelled "MUJEDO!!" again, and then the bass player ACTUALLY STOOD ON HIS BASS.  I wish you had been there to see it -- I couldn't believe it with my own eyes.

I meandered over to the merchandise table to see what they had.  They had three or four copies of their debut album, "Mujedo Tells You What to Do".  They also had one copy of a recent release, "Black Light", nearly hidden under a pile of sawdust.  I asked the guy how much, and he said "$12 each."  I pulled $25 out of my wallet, and he said, "No.  $15."  I got another $5, and he said, "Wait!  What's the password?"  I replied, "Huh?"  "Password!" he insisted.  I replied, "We ask the questions.  You provide the answers."  At this, he got flustered, took away the copy of "Black Light", and said, "Wrong!  No good!"  He took my $30 and gave me "Mujedo Tells You What to Do."  I figured I'd better not press the issue, since I already lost $450 for the lard, so I went back to sit down.

Mujedo continued their opening act until 10:45 PM, well after Saucer was supposed to start.  They only quit when the club cut off power to their instruments.  As it turned out, Mujedo took the guitar picks from Saucer, leaving them to play their guitars with borrowed electronic gear such as a Speak 'n' Spell, an electronic toothbrush, and a vibrator.  I think it was a vibrator, anyway; it was late and my head was starting to throb.

I went home that night and searched the Internet for information on Mujedo.  Oddly enough, the original post in mn.general had been completely erased from my news server, and it wasn't available on DejaNews.  The only information I found was at this site and this site.  So, in the interest of promoting the band (and at my own risk), I'm posting this page.  We'll see what happens!